Living A Nightmare
by CatalanCats
Summary: The click of the door locking resounded in my ears as if it had been a gunshot and I realized that I was trapped with no way out. WARNINGS inside!
1. Chapter 1

**So this is my very first fanfic and I'm sure that it's one of the darker ones, but after reading so many awesome stories I just couldn't _NOT_ write this.**

**WARNINGS for rape, torture and** **darkness.**

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><p>The first thing I noticed when I woke up was pain.<p>

I couldn't remember the last time that I had felt such an amount of pain—not even when I was giving birth to Henry had I felt anything like it.

The second thing I noticed was that I was tied up, my hands behind my back, my ankles tied together and to something—I wasn't completely sure what—cutting off most of the circulation to my feet. There was something in my mouth, preventing me from making a sound louder than a muffled moan.

Throbbing.

My feet and hands were throbbing, tied so tightly that every beat of my heart hurt. But that wasn't the worst of it.

The worst of it was my dislocated shoulder, I guessed. Or maybe it was my broken wrist, or the bruise on my left cheekbone—it felt like the hit I had taken there had broken something—where the skin felt too tight over my bones.

When I opened my eyes—my left eye staying shut—I noticed the darkness around me and my heart skipped a beat.

I had been taken in the morning, which either meant that I was somewhere without windows, or I had been out for most of the day. I hoped with all of my heart that it was the first possibility because that meant that I hadn't been gone for as long as I thought, and that meant that I still had some time before they would come to get me.

And that meant that my team still had some time to find me.

Somewhere in the distance a door opened, then closed. There were footsteps above me, which could only mean I was in a basement of some kind. The footsteps came closer, and my entire body tensed with anticipation.

I would meet my captor in three...two...one—the door opened and the light streaming in blinded me for only a second. The figure at the top of the stairs stood, looking down on me. For a second I thought I saw a smile, but as soon as it came, it was gone.

"I was wondering when you'd wake up." His voice was low, practically a growl as he slowly descended the stairs. If I didn't know any better, I'd think he seemed concerned about my well-being. He kept his gaze trained on me as he came closer, inspecting every inch of me.

I hummed against the gag in my mouth and he chuckled, as if I'd just said something funny.

"How rude of me." He removed the gag and flashed a smile at me again, sending chills through my body. "How are you feeling, Jennifer?"

I shouldn't be surprised that he knew my name but I was.

"I seem to be at a disadvantage here." I said instead of giving him an answer. I tried not to flinch when he touched me again, this time to help me sit up. Did he really think that was what I meant?

"You certainly are at a disadvantage. That's not going to change anytime soon." His hand lingered on my hips and I bit the inside of my cheek to prevent myself from saying anything. "Would you like some water?"

He didn't wait for me to answer but presented me with a bottle of water, still sealed. He opened it slowly and in clear sight, probably knowing that I wouldn't drink anything that could be contaminated, even in front of my face. He lifted the bottle to my lips and I took a couple of gulps of water before he took it away again.

"You could always untie me," I said instead of thanking him, like he was expecting. His face fell and his anger flashed in his eyes before he got it under control again. Of all cases that I'd worked, I'd never seen an unsub so in control of his anger.

"You could always just be thankful that I even bother with something so menial as this." His voice had gone back to that low growl and I bit my lip as my heart started beating even faster.

"Thank you."

"That's better," his smile was back, feeding into my panic even more than his anger had. There was something about him that scared me even more than any other killer had ever done. His sophisticated manners, his gentlemanly ways got on my nerves.

"What do you want from me?" I shifted, my body tense and every bone seemingly hurting. We had been trying to catch this man for at least six months and had never been able to find where he kept his victims, or even who he was.

"Right now, all I want to know is how long it will take for you to break." He straightened up so that he could tower over me and look down at me before he continued. "I've had several agents from several government agencies, and it's been a pleasure trying to find their breaking points."

"What does it give you?"

"You need to listen!" He snapped before he took a deep breath and regained his composure. "It gives me pleasure, Jennifer. And that's all I'm looking for here."

Before I could ask him another question, he strode out of the basement, his head held high and his whole demeanor showing just how much he liked the situation.

The door closed behind him, leaving me in the damp darkness alone.

My mind went back to the moment I woke up. I couldn't remember when I was taken, or even how I got hurt so badly. How did my wrist break? How did I get any of the injuries that I could feel at this point?

My brain couldn't—or wouldn't—give me the answers that I sought. I knew—from dealing with victims of a kidnapping—that the mind would do everything in its power to protect you from painful or traumatic memories and that there was nothing that I could do in that moment to remember.

All I could do was wait and maybe even plan a way out. And all I could really do, was hope for my team to find me in time, because if they didn't it wouldn't be pretty.


	2. Chapter 2

My eyes were burning and my mind was a mess when the second day came around. I hadn't been able to sleep, the pain in my wrist from being tied too tightly keeping me awake, along with the other injuries.

"Today, I have something special on the menu. It's going to be a first for both of us, isn't that exciting?"

I startled at the sound of his voice, and only then realized that the basement was filled with light from the doorway. I licked my dry lips as he descended the stairs and drank in the light before he would plunge me in darkness again.

"What's that?"

"Oh you'll see." He kneeled before me and flashed me a smile. "I'm going to untie you now. But be advised...we're not alone here, and any attempt to escape will be stopped at the top of those stairs," he warned me, pointing back to the stairs that led to my freedom.

"Of course." I croaked out, my throat too dry to say anything more. He stared at me for what felt like ages before he moved to untie my hands. I had to bite my tongue hard to keep from screaming out, the pain in my wrist only intensifying when the blood flow to my hand had free reign again.

"Oh my...did my friend break your wrist? That's hardly fair," he muttered, not even bothering to wait for a reply before he untied my ankles. It was only then that I saw that I had been tied to some kind of pipe. "I'm taking you upstairs, where I have a special room set up for this. It's going to be so much fun!" He sounded giddy, and I knew that it was going to be worse than I had been able to imagine. If my mouth hadn't been so dry already, it would've been after seeing his excitement.

"I don't think I will agree." I took a gulp of air when he pressed his fingers against my broken wrist, sending pain through my already throbbing arm.

"You will." He lifted me to my feet and stared at me. "Dislocated shoulder? Gosh, they really did a number on you." He snapped my shoulder back in place, the pain almost causing me to black out. "Let's get going, Jennifer. I don't think we have much time together."

He dragged me up those stairs as if I was a rag doll. And maybe to him I was, considering the fact that he was planning on torturing me to my breaking point.

His face was lit up with excitement, something that at this moment, I just couldn't comprehend. How could someone be so excited at the prospect of hurting someone else?

"So what should I call you?" I asked, hoping to get something out of him. He actually seemed to think about it though so I knew that I wouldn't get an answer.

"Sir. You may call me sir." He grinned at me as he pushed me forward and into a room just as dark as the basement. "Take a seat."

I glanced at him for a second before I walked up to the chair and sat down. It wasn't something I had expected but I was sure there was a price to it.

"You know I'm not going to call you sir," I said as I kept my face expressionless. He bowed his head, accepting my words.

"You faced the test of patience and won. Some of the others broke only thinking about what would happen to them. Such a shame," he paced back and forth in front of me, glancing up at me occasionally. "Others, however, made it to the next part quite well. It was a pleasant surprise."

"So what are you planning?"

"Have you ever been shocked?" He asked, his tone of voice giving me the chills.

"Yes."

"I mea-"

"Yes," I said again, interrupting him. I knew exactly what he meant, and I'd been through torture before so I knew what would come. Or at least, I thought so.

"Oh right...you have been tortured before. That means I have to change my plans, there are probably some things that you haven't yet gone through." He stared at me for a moment before he walked over to me and tied my hands to the chair. I screamed out in pain when he handled my broken wrist with more force than necessary and he smiled, his eyes showing his enjoyment.

The chair was bolted to the ground. I couldn't get it to move, and he could see me struggling. He enjoyed it when I struggled. I stopped, forcing myself to stay still as he watched me. He sighed before he turned and left the room, and I leaned my head back against the back of the chair and closed my eyes.

No matter how strong I thought I was, the pain was causing me to go crazy. There was no way of evading it, or even ignore it.

When was my team coming to save me from this man?

He returned a little while later with a smile on his face. It was as if he had finally stepped over one of his own limits and he was enjoying the thought of what he was going to do to me more than he might enjoy the act.

I never really got close to the unsubs we caught. After all, I was a media liaison first, and a profiler second. And after all, I wasn't part of the departments that needed us to catch anyone. They did the arrests, for the most part.

"Well Jennifer, as it seems we are going to have to change the plans, I will have to bring you to another room once more." He untied my hands and before he could pull me up, I stood to my feet. He glared at me, not appreciating the fact that I took control even if it was over such a small thing.

"There's nothing that I haven't gone through," I said, even though even I knew that was a lie. He just smiled as he took a hold of my arm and then he pulled me out of the room.

My stomach turned as he dragged me into another room, this time the only thing that was in the room was a bed with a mattress and nothing else. I swallowed against the bile in my throat and tried to pull my arm away from his grip but he only tightened it.

"There is one thing that I know for a fact that you haven't gone through. It can break a person just the same as torture could...let's see how long you can fight me."


	3. Chapter 3

**This is the last one of the darker chapters. WARNING though, because this contains rape. **

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><p>I paced the room after another sleepless night.<p>

He had left me for another night, tortured me in a way that I hadn't thought of before. The thought of what would happen to me had me on edge, even worse than what I had gone through the night before when I hadn't been able to even imagine anything that could break me.

That didn't take away from the fact that he had a plan and it would be set in motion today. And it made her heart beat faster, and her palms to become clammy with cold sweat. The fear that lived in her heart was worse than the fear when Hastings and Askari tortured her.

"Good morning Jennifer!" His voice sounded through the door before it unlocked and he walked in, followed by two burly men. I could feel the blood drain from my face at the sight of them, and he grinned at me in excitement. "I brought some friends who were willing to help me."

I gritted my teeth to keep myself from saying anything and waited.

"Sir, how do you want this?" One of the men asked. His eyes were glazed over with lust and I just wished that I could disappear.

"That's all up to you and Brent, Jesse. I can't control this part, sadly." He stared at me as Brent and Jesse closed in on me, both practically drooling as they took in every part of me.

"You're a coward, you know that?" I said, my voice barely above a whisper. It stopped him in his tracks though, and he turned to glare at me. But then his whole demeanor changed and he chuckled while he walked out of the room.

The click of the door locking resounded in my ears as if it had been a gunshot and I realized that I was trapped with no way out.

Brent was the first to reach me and he wrapped his arms around me so tightly, it knocked the wind out of me. I struggled for air for a moment before I pushed against his chest but to no avail.

"You don't have to do this," I croaked out, my throat way too dry to even speak. I needed to try to stop this though, in any way that I could see how. "You really don't need to do any of this."

"Say, do you like your women to be able to talk or do you want to gag her?" Brent asked Jesse over my head, and Jesse chuckled. "Oh right, we can think of something to keep her quiet."

I gagged and closed my eyes as he pushed me onto the bed. There wasn't anything that I could do to stop them. They were both built like Derek Morgan and even though I had fought him and won once, I knew that I wouldn't be strong enough for the both of them. And even then, I was trapped in the room with them and the only thing knocking them out would do, was anger them.

One of them pulled my legs apart, while the other grabbed my wrists and pulled. I screamed in pain and in panic when I could feel Brent pulled off my jeans and panties in one hard movement, causing me to slide toward him. The only thing stopping me from falling off the bed was Jesse, who had my wrists in a lock hold.

The pain was too much though. When I tried to move my legs, Brent grunted and squeezed my thighs hard, pulling me back toward him, which caused Jesse to tighten his grip, and unbeknown to them hurt me even more.

When I blacked out, I welcomed the darkness with open arms.

"She can't do anything with that arm anyway. It's not like she can hurt you with it." When I came to, those were the first words I heard. The first thing I felt, was the pain between my legs. A lone tear slid down my cheek and I kept my eyes closed, hoping that I would black out again.

I just wasn't that lucky.

"You're right." It was Brent who spoke, and when I felt hands on me, on my thighs, on my chest, I opened my eyes and saw him climbing over me, that glint of lust had only intensified in the time that I had been out.

"Please, don't," I begged, my voice not much more than a whisper.

They were right about my broken wrist keeping me from using that arm, and they had been smart enough to tie my other arm to the bedpost. My legs, however, were free. I kicked Jesse in the chest and my foot hit hard against Brent's thigh. They were both momentarily stunned.

"We have a fighter!" Brent cackled, while Jesse grunted out, rubbing his chest before he leaned over me and slapped me hard. For a second I saw white dots, and I couldn't focus on anything.

"Fucking bitch," Jesse growled. "Teach her a lesson, Brent. Because if you don't, I will...again."

Brent looked down at me, and before I knew it his body covered mine and the force knocked the air our of my lungs. I gritted my teeth as I looked back at him. I wouldn't beg again, I wouldn't let him see my pain, or weaknesses. All I would show him, was my anger.

"Look at her, being all angry," Brent laughed in my face and pushed his lips against mine in a bruising kiss. He tasted like stale cigarettes and I gagged against his lips, my stomach revolting against everything that was happening.

When my body finally accepted the fact that there was nothing I could do to stop it, my mind was able to close off. I couldn't think about the best thing that happened in my life, but I could think of the things that would happen to the men who had tried, and succeeded, in breaking me.


	4. Chapter 4

"You did a wonderful job, boys."

I opened my eyes when I heard his voice. I hadn't even heard the door open, but apparently Brent and Jesse had because they had started getting dressed.

He stood in front of the two men while they finished dressing. Even just looking at them made me want to throw up, and I had to fight against my stomach clenching to expel whatever I had left.

When the two men were done getting dressed they stood to face him, and before either of them could react, the man pulled his gun and shot them execution style. I flinched and closed my eyes while they collapsed onto the ground, and he just chuckled.

"I'll leave you alone to let that sink in for a moment...but I'll be back." He left before I could say a word, not that I had wanted to say anything. He hadn't bothered locking the door this time, having seen that I had been tied to the bed with one hand.

I struggled to sit up, my legs sticky with a mixture of blood and semen. My hair was damp with sweat and stuck to my face, but however annoying it was, I couldn't do anything about it. I pulled my legs up, making myself as small as I could before I leaned my head on my knees and closed my eyes again.

I didn't want to look at them. My stomach clenched again and I swallowed hard. Why hadn't he killed me too? I had been properly broken, like he had wanted. What more could he do to me? How far would he go?

For an hour, I sat with my knees pulled up to my chest and my head on my knees. I waited for him to come finish the job and kill me but he never came.

Instead, I could hear a commotion outside of the room and another shot being fired. The thump of a body hitting the ground had me tense, but I didn't move a muscle as I tried to figure out what was going on.

"Clear!" I heard a familiar voice call out. From somewhere in the house, I heard someone else repeat the word, and then I heard a female voice in front of the room I was in.

"Hey, back me up," she said and I realized that these were people I knew. This was my team, finally coming to save me. The woman was Emily Prentiss, and even though she hadn't been a part of the team for a while, I still considered her as such.

The door opened and Emily stood in the doorway and for a moment, I couldn't move. I couldn't even lift my head to look at her. I felt ashamed as I sat on the bed, naked, probably looking like a mess. Emily gasped, and only then did I look up.

"Two dead," she called to someone outside of the room before she looked at me. "I found her." She quickly took off her FBI jacket and made her way over to me, purposely ignoring the way I flinched when she touched my shoulder.

"Em."

"Shh...we're going to get you out of here Jayje," Emily just said, not bothering to ask what happened. I watched her face as she worked on the ties around my hand and realized that she already knew what happened to me, or at least guessed.

Nobody entered the room, which was a relief. Emily stepped back when she had managed to untie me and looked at me, still curled up in a ball. My broken wrist throbbed and I gritted my teeth.

"My wrist," I croaked out, "is broken...and I think..." Emily stopped me by shaking her head. She could see what my injuries were except for the ones on the inside.

"Get the paramedics in here," she called out to no one in particular. She seemed to bite her tongue because she kept quiet until the paramedics rushed into the room. Both were female, and both took charge right away when they saw me. They stabilized my wrist in record time.

"Mrs. Jareau, can you stand?"

I nodded my head and turned so that I could put my feet on the ground. I looked up and stared right into the lifeless eyes of Brent, and I shivered. I swallowed and closed my eyes as I pushed myself up from the bed.

"You can lay down on the gurney." I had to open my eyes to see the gurney in front of me, which they had taken into the room with them but I hadn't even noticed until they had pointed it out. I turned again, my back to the bodies, and sat down on the gurney.

My stomach turned and I dry heaved. Nothing came out, though the paramedics and Emily stepped out of the way. I chuckled dryly.

"Don't worry, I won't throw up over your shoes." Emily let out a surprised snort and I looked up at her, a smile on my face that didn't reach my eyes like it normally did. I lay down, just wanting to get out of the house as soon as possible.

A blanket covered me quickly and I sighed in relief as it warmed me up pretty quickly.

"Get her out of here, I'll be right behind you." Emily seemed to read my mind and I was grateful for my friend, who had been there whenever I needed her. Well, mostly she had been there after I needed her, but still.

I had to keep my eyes open as they rode me toward the ambulance, the nausea now clinging to me. I clung to the blanket over me and glanced around at all the cops and even some of my team standing and staring at me.

What I wouldn't do to disappear, I thought as they settled the gurney into the ambulance. I didn't say a word, though while she checked my vitals and stared at some of the bigger bruises on my face and arms, one of the paramedics talked non stop.

It was only when Emily sat down next to her and glared at her that she stopped talking. The other paramedic climbed in behind the wheel and turned to look at us.

"Are we ready to go?" She asked, only waiting long enough for her colleague to nod before she turned and started the car.


	5. Chapter 5

**Should I go on? **

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><p>It would be easy to just pass out while the ambulance made its way to the hospital.<p>

But that would be taking the easy way out and my mind and body wouldn't allow me to just skip through the exams that were waiting for me, the questions that everyone probably had.

I could feel Emily staring at me but I kept my eyes closed, listened to the paramedics talking, Emily only every so often interjecting something. I didn't hear a word they said, but it was obvious that they were talking about me and my state of being.

"His name was Michael Harris. He tortured ten agents of several agen—" Emily stopped when I opened my eyes and stared at her. Her cheeks turned a pretty pink that I hadn't seen in a while and I almost smiled.

Almost.

"I know what he did. I also know that he wanted to break them and me, and because I'd already been tortured he decided that he needed something else, he needed to up his game." I stared at her as her face paled and for a second I felt guilty. But I had the right to say what I wanted, and she had been asking for it. "That's where those two men come in, Em. Because he couldn't 'step over that line' he had them do it."

She paled even more even though I hadn't thought it was possible and I pressed my lips together to stop myself from going on. I had crossed a line, and I needed to step back. So I closed my eyes again and shut everything out. Emily didn't deserve my ranting and raving. Emily didn't deserve to be confronted like that. Not while she was trying to help me.

"Your right, you didn't need to be told." She bit her lip and kept quiet for a moment while I did my best not to disappear.

"He didn't do anything to me though, Em," I said softly and she frowned at me. "He had someone kidnap me, and he had those men...but he didn't do anything other than taunt me with what was going to happen. It was going to be 'fun' and 'exciting' he said. But he could've done more."

"I think that he didn't plan this through. That's all I can say though, for now." Emily looked at me for a moment and nodded. "It's been a long three days and we still haven't found out why he took you, because you weren't on his list."

I didn't say more but my head couldn't let go of what she had said. He had a list? And I wasn't on that? It confused me, but mostly it angered me that he had chosen me when clearly, all the people he had taken before had been on a list, probably for revenge. So why me?

When we got to the hospital I was able to close off part of me that wanted to flinch at every touch and that wanted to scream at every question they asked.

Everything happened in a rush. They did a rape kit, took pictures and put a cast around my wrist while I stayed in my head, safe from all the touches and all the questions. I didn't say a word and I didn't move unless they told me to move.

"I hear your husband and son are waiting outside for you." It was the first thing I heard when they were done with the exam, and I looked up at the doctor who'd spoken. She simply smiled as I stared and after a moment I looked back down, a tear slipping down my cheek the only reaction from me. "There's a whole team there too. FBI?"

"Don't." I wiped at my cheek as she sighed and kept quiet about the people waiting outside.

"I need you to lay down and relax. I'm going to hook you up to an IV drip, to keep you hydrated." She waited until I had settled into the bed. "Don't move, it's going to hurt if you do."

She quickly hooked me up to an IV and then watched me for a minute as I stared at the door. It wasn't like I was waiting for anyone to barge in, but more a way of shutting the doctor out. She got the message, and left the room without another word.

The fact that I had a group of people waiting outside for the doctor to be done with the exams made my skin crawl. I knew it wouldn't take long for someone to barge in and start asking me questions.

I was right but the person barging in wasn't who I was expecting. As Rossi walked in I stared at him, his hands in his pockets and his face expressionless. There was a reason they had sent him in—he was good at what he did and he would find out what happened.

"I'm glad you're alive," was all he said though, before he sat down and sighed in relief. "I haven't been able to relax in a couple of days. You mind?"

I shook my head, pleasantly surprised when he closed his eyes and crossed his arms over his chest.

"No questions?" I rasped out, still not having been able to ask for some water.

He glared at me, but the glint in his eyes told me he was just teasing. "You should close your eyes and try to sleep. I can stay here for a while before they get suspicious, but it's only holding off the inevitable. So take this time and relax."

"Could you hand me that cup of water then? I'm parched," I gestured to the cup on the nightstand and Rossi stood and handed it to me.

I drank slowly, only drinking to wet my throat and to be able to swallow like a normal person. He had sat down again and I didn't want to make him get up again so I held the cup, occasionally taking sips as the silence settled over me like a comforting blanket. It felt good to have someone look out for me, be there for me in a way that I'd never let anyone do before.

Any other person, and especially the ones on my team, would've asked me a million questions about what happened to me. But Rossi didn't seem to have trouble staying silent. His presence was what I needed to calm down and to let myself relax.


	6. Chapter 6

It took me a while to actually be able to doze off, but sleeping wasn't in the cards. I would've thought that by now I'd passed out from exhaustion.

Rossi however, was snoring as he sat, fast asleep on the chair. I couldn't help but grin at the sight of him and for a moment I wished I could take a picture so that I could tease him with it later.

It had me wondering where my phone was. It was probably in evidence, or with Garcia if she wasn't here. She would sift through it, looking for anything useful. I sighed as that thought took over every other, and even though I tried to focus on the good—I had been rescued after all—it took over everything.

"What's on your mind?" Rossi asked, startling me out of my thoughts. I looked up as he rubbed his eyes.

"Just...thinking about my phone," I said, and he chuckled.

"Your phone is fine, it's with Will. He found it when he came home." Rossi stood to his feet and moved to stand next to the bed. "You know what happened?"

"Not really," I replied, knowing he was thinking about how I was taken. "All I remember is waking up in the basement of that house."

"Well, going on evidence in your house there was quite a struggle. Some minor things were broken—Will already took care of that after the scene was processed—and your phone was on the kitchen counter next to your groceries. The way I think it happened is you heard something and went to check it out, got ambushed and fought like hell. The guys were probably way too strong though, and with at least two of them and they overpowered you."

"Yea, I guess." I didn't want to think about but Rossi had turned on his profiler and was just trying to keep me relaxed. I appreciated that. "My wrist was broken obviously and my shoulder was dislocated in the struggle."

"And going by the bruises on your face they really did a number on you even after you passed out," Rossi added. He stared at my for a moment, his face set in a hard mask. "They're lucky they're dead because I think there are more than enough of us that would want to kill them."

It was the first time that I had seen him actually say something so hard and it felt strange, even though it was a good strange. I had never really spent much time with Rossi, but I knew that I would make an effort once I got out of the hospital. He had showed me a different side of him that I really liked.

"Thanks for saying that. I know that's not true for all of you."

"Except maybe Hotch because he's a stickler for the rules. And Garcia because she's way too soft. Everyone else would enjoy a go at them." He smiled then, a genuine smile that reached into my heart. "You're loved JJ."

"Thank you Dave."

"Now don't jump, because Will and Henry are walking up to the door," he said without even looking up, without letting the smile fall from his face. I glanced at the door just as it opened and there they were, my husband and son.

Will looked at me like I was going to break, his demeanor showing more insecurity than I'd ever seen with him while Henry grinned, and pulled his hand from Will's. He ran up to me, and looked up with a sparkle in his eyes.

"Did you get the bad guy?" he asked excitingly. I looked at Rossi, who smiled and lifted Henry in his arms.

"I'm going to put you next to your mom but you have to promise me to be careful, okay?" he said, waiting for Henry to nod his head before he put him down next to my legs. Henry rearranged so that he sat next to my hips, and looked at me expectantly.

"Uncle Dave got the bad guy this time," I said looking up at Rossi. He winked at me and Henry, and my son flashed him his picture perfect smile. My heart couldn't get any bigger at the sight of him, a welcome change from all the anger on everyone's faces.

"Is that why you are here?" Henry asked softly, looking at me with all the curiosity of his age. I smiled, and with my good hand pulled him into my side where he settled in, content to be close to me.

"Yes baby, that's why I'm here," I replied after a moment, where both Rossi and Will stared at me. "Mommy tried to fight the bad guy but he was a little bit stronger."

"You're still my hero," Henry muttered, a smile in his voice. He sat up, pushing his hand into my bruised side to steady himself. I gritted my teeth and pulled into my lungs with a hiss, but he didn't seem to notice as he practically jumped up and down.

Rossi came to my rescue when he saw my reaction and lifted Henry off the bed. "I told you to be careful kid...mommy is in pain," he said gently, and Henry looked up at me with a frown before he seemed to get it. He looked down at his hands and nodded his head.

"Sorry mommy," he said softly as he made his way to Will. Will finally stepped forward, and I took a deep breath.

"He missed you," he said, looking down at Henry.

"I missed him too," I replied quickly. "I missed you too, Will."

My throat closed up when tears found their way to my eyes. He looked at me, that sparkle of love in his eyes and I couldn't stop the tears anymore. Rossi cleared his throat and said something to Henry, but all I could see was Will and everything else was so far away.

"How are you feeling?" He slowly stepped closer and then, without paying much attention to the way I flinched, sat down next to my on the bed. I licked my lips as I looked at his leg pressing against mine and then back up at his face.

"Like I'm broken."


	7. Chapter 7

Will didn't move, and I watched him as he took in my words. There had been more than one meaning to them and because they had slipped out before I could stop them, of course I hoped he would take it the easiest way.

"You're bent," he said, his tone gentle but I could see some anger behind it. "Not broken."

It was a nice way to look at it and I smiled at him, even though at that moment I did feel broken, no matter what he said. He seemed to understand, because he cleared his throat as if he wanted to say more, but he didn't.

"How've you been?" I asked, not exactly sure what to say. The silence though, pressed on me and I had to say something.

He shrugged. "I've been fine. Worried about you." He fidgeted with his hands, as if he couldn't look at me as he admired something he felt. The truth was that will wasn't much of a sharer.

"I'm okay...I'm just bent right?" I said with a smile, my instinct to make him feel better kicking in without me noticing. I didn't touch him like I normally would though, and that was was caught his attention.

"Yea. JJ? I'm here for you when you need to talk okay?" He said, glancing up without lifting his head. I realized that with me in this hospital bed, having gone through something horrible, he didn't know what to say or even do with himself. It was something that I hadn't actually experienced myself—I was always good at saying something—but I liked the fact that he tried.

"I know." The silence that followed my reply proved my theory. He didn't know what else to say and I didn't say anything else.

I started when the door opened and Hotch stepped inside. He didn't say anything for a while and eventually, Will stood and left the room with one last glance my way.

But Hotch stayed quiet as he watched me. I wished Will hadn't left the room, Hotch's stare getting on my nerves more than anything could at this moment.

He was the star of getting unwilling people to talk with his state and I gritted my teeth, waiting for his plan to be revealed. I could feel my hands start to shake and I clenched them into fists.

"You know it's not going to work on me," I said, feeling my fingernails cut into my suddenly sweaty palms. "I told Emily and Rossi everything that I could right now."

"I...that's not why I'm in here JJ." He frowned at me, confusion so unusual on his face. "The doctors told me you had to stay here for a couple of days...even though it was only three days you're malnourished and dehydrated and they'd like to get you back on track before you leave."

I shook my head, the icy fingers of fear creeping down my back. "No. I've been away from my son for too long. Can't you do something?"

"Will could take you home against medical advice but he won't. I know that you're having a hard time and you just want to go home, but that's not possible right now." He looked at me apologetically and I closed my eyes.

"Why didn't he tell me?" I asked. I opened my eyes just in time to see something flash in his eyes.

"Because the doctor came into the waiting area after he had gone into the room. Being an FBI agent sometimes has its benefits," he said, a small smile playing on his lips before disappearing again. "I know that Rossi and Emily have gathered some intel from you which is why I won't ask any more questions right now, but you know as well as I do that we have to debrief you, go over what happened again so that we can close this case. We can't leave this the way it is."

He was right, of course. I would never ask of him what he thought I would even though I couldn't imagine having to live through the nightmare again. "I can just write down my statement while I'm stuck in here then." I snapped and it was just a split second, but I could swear I could see the corners of his mouth pull down. He slid the mask back on so fast that I wasn't even sure if I'd seen it right.

"That's right." He said with a nod. "You'll have to be evaluated when you want to come back to work but I don't expect you for a while."

"Okay then." I looked up at him as he moved closer, his face only showing seconds of emotion. "I need the see them though. When I get out of here, I need to see that they are dead."

He raised his eyebrows but inclined his head. "Of course, and you will be able to. I will make sure of that." He understood. He had gotten the closure he needed by actually killing the person who'd hurt him. I didn't get that chance and seeing his body was the only thing I could think of to help me close that part of my life off.

I closed my eyes again and licked my lips. There was enough to do for Hotch and the team, and I didn't want to keep them here just to keep coming to check on me. "You should get back to work, yea?"

"We should. I'm sure we will come and visit you before you leave the hospital...but in the meantime I just want...get well okay? We need you out there." Hotch left the room as silently and quickly as he came in and I was alone.

The silence that filled the room was pressing, and it took my breath away. I struggled for a minute or two before I pushed the call button, knowing that whatever they gave me would knock me out. Even though it was just a panic attack. _Just_.


	8. Chapter 8

It surprised me that the routine of a hospital actually helped me more than anyone had expected.

The first morning I took a nice, hot shower with help of a nurse, who had been appalled to see the bruises but hadn't said a word. Will had Garcia bring me some clothes and I just missed her when she dropped them off.

Breakfast, lunch and dinner came and went and so did Will and Henry that first day.

The second was worse though. The nightmares had kept me up all night and I was exhausted by the time that the nurse came to help with cleaning up. She didn't say anything as she put the bag over my cast, and kept silent for the most part. She never brought up the nightmares that I'd had, even though I knew that she had heard about my screaming.

It was after lunch that the doctor came to check on me. "I heard you had some issues last night." She waited for a reaction but I just stared at her. "If you want we can give you something for that. It's going to be a rough time with nightmares I assume."

"No." I shook my head and she raised her eyebrows but didn't say anything. "I can handle the dreams."

"Okay, that's all up to you. You will be released tomorrow. I have some things that worry me but keeping you here longer won't change that. You would need to take good care of yourself Jennifer. I'm sure your husband will be of help in the next few weeks, while your wrist heals up. I have set you up with a diet, and you know you need to drink plenty of fluids."

"Is that really necessary after just three days?" I asked, surprised at her strictness about my eating and drinking enough.

"Your body gets used to a routine very quickly and you hadn't had anything to eat for four days. You eat well, so I imagine you won't really need the diet but it's for when you fall back, or need a reminder of what is good for you and what is enough."

Even though it would be unnecessary for me to follow a diet, I would keep an eye on my intake because I knew that it was important.

"Thank you." I said as I shifted, my body restless. "When can I go back to work?"

"Between four and six weeks. And you might want to be very careful in the weeks after." I sighed and the doctor smiled. "With your job I'd wish I could say you have to wait three months, because it's dangerous and your wrist is going to be weak for a while after I take off that cast."

"I think four to six weeks sounds great." I said quickly and she chuckled.

"You're doing great, Jennifer." She watched me for a moment, and I could see she had more to say so I stayed quiet. "I'd like to recommend a therapist. Going through something so traumatic...you'd need someone to talk to who's able to help."

"I'll think about it," I grunted out.

"Good, I'll leave her card on the night stand so that you can think about it. Don't forget to take it home with you," she said as she gently put the card on the night stand. She was careful not to startle me which was something I could appreciate. "I have to get going now, but whenever you need something, you can have me paged. I'll come by tomorrow to check on you one last time before you leave."

"Thank you doctor," I said softly as she turned and walked out of the room. I glanced at the card, and then realized that Will still had my phone. I stared at the hospital phone, trying to remember his phone number. I had always been bad at remembering phone numbers and I had been very easy with putting them in my phone and then forgetting them all together.

But I remembered the land line at home, and I figured with Henry he would be home by now. So I dialed and waited.

"Will LaMontagne," I heard his voice and I closed my eyes, my heartbeat slowing and my body relaxed, even though I hadn't even realized I'd been tense.

"Hey Will...it's me," I said lamely. "Could you bring me my phone when you visit? Are you going to come by today?"

"Chère," he said, a smile lacing his voice. "Of course I'll visit today. Henry wants to see you just as bad as I do. I'll bring your phone, but can you tell me why? Are they going to keep you much longer?"

"No, they will release me tomorrow, I just need some way to contact people," I said, and he hummed. "Anyway, that's all..."

"I'll bring your phone, and some nice, comfortable clothes for tomorrow." He cleared his throat. "I'll see you in an hour. I was just getting Henry ready."

"See you then," I replied and then put the phone back on the horn as I stared at it. With my phone I could check out what this therapist did, that was so good that my doctor wanted to recommend her.

When my husband and my son walked into the room an hour later, I knew that even though I wanted to be able to be a normal, happy woman around them, I had to work really hard to act at least a little bit normal.

Mostly around Will though. Henry had this way that made me feel happy even if it was just for a minute and as he babbled on about how he'd done in school that day, I listened with a smile and glanced at Will for just a second.

He was staring at me, but didn't say a word for a while. When Henry fell silent, done with telling about his day in school, Will took a deep breath.

"You know I love you right?"


	9. Chapter 9

I stared at him, the first thing popping into my mind was that he was going to leave me. And it left me breathless.

"What's wrong?" I asked slowly, watching his face for any clue as to what it might be that had him ask such a thing.

"Nothing...I mean, everything seems wrong and I just want you to know that I love you. No matter what." He took a deep breath. "And I kind of have to leave in a minute because they called me back into work to finish a report."

"Really?" I asked, wondering if he was lying. Nothing pointed to a lie though, but I suspected something else was going on that he wasn't telling me.

"Apparently I'm the only one with all the facts and they want me to fix whatever mistake they made so that they can file it. It's one of those things," he shook his head, his mouth set in a hard line. "I'm...I mean, I'm taking it home tonight, it's just that they called me while we were on our way here."

"You took some time off right?"

"I did. This is from before that, it's my last case and they tried to finish the report with my notes but they can't." Will watched me and I knew he was looking for some kind of a reaction but I had none. I didn't know how to react to it at all.

This was all so random.

"Why don't you go get your report and then come back to pick up Henry? That way I can spend some time alone with him and you don't have to worry that he's going to be in the way." I'd hoped for some time alone with my baby. Somehow, he helped me see the good instead of the bad.

While Will took a minute to think, I stared at Henry. He was still so innocent and I wanted to keep it that way. If I had a say in it, he would stay innocent his whole life but of course, that was impossible. He had to grow up eventually. But right at that moment he didn't have a clue of what was wrong with the world, he was just a happy kid still.

"Are you sure?" Will asked, and I turned and looked at him again.

"I can take care of him for a little while, Will. I mean, he's my son," I said, feeling like he was keeping me from spending time with my son. I was sure that he saw what I saw though, because when he blinked and widened his eyes, I knew what was coming.

"I didn't mean it like that! I meant are you sure you're okay with..." He shook his head, not sure what to say. "Okay. I'll come back for him in an hour."

He moved forward, then changed his mind and waved at me. Henry, who was still playing with the buttons of the bed, waved at Will before Will left the room. The fact that he hadn't folded me into the bed yet was a good thing and as I glanced at him, I realized that it might be unfair to put something so big as me feeling better on his little shoulders.

"Hey Henry, you want to come cuddle with me?" I asked after a moment of watching him. It was something that we did when I wasn't on a case; I'd pick him up from school and we'd either cuddle while watching a movie, or sit in the kitchen, Henry doing his homework while I either finished up a case report or just helped him.

"Yes," he said softly, before climbing on the bed. I helped him as best as I could but because of my wrist it was harder than I thought. When he was settled into my side, I ran my hand through his long hair and sighed, the feeling of his little body grounding me, taking away even the possibility of thinking about what happened.

"How was school today sweetie?" I asked, for a moment not realizing he'd already told me, but he told me again anyway. He slowed down talking, and was so comfortable with his head on my arm, his arm over my stomach, that by the time he was done telling me about school he fell asleep.

I closed my eyes and listened to his breathing, enjoying it more than I thought I would after only a couple of days.

While Henry had fallen into a deep sleep, I stared at the door. It wasn't conscious, I wasn't waiting for anyone but my mind races as I realized I'd be home for the next four to six weeks. More than enough time to spend with my son.

It was a good feeling.

That feeling came to an abrupt halt when the door opened and Garcia and Rossi walked in. Garcia, I saw in the first moments, had been told to keep her enthusiasm down for me.

"Hey sweetie," she said softly, noticing Henry fast asleep by my side. Rossi just tipped his imaginary hat with a smile and sat down.

"Hey Pen. How are you?" I asked. It was strange. Garcia was my friend, Henry's godmother but I felt uncomfortable with her in the room, I didn't know what to say.

"Me?" She hissed, anger on her face. "I'm not here for me but for you! How are you? Is there anything I can do for you? Get you? Name it, it'll be yours."

"What about a million dollars?" I asked, smiling. With Henry with me, I could forget everything and it was a good thing. It helped me with not pushing away everyone, it helped me with not wanting to be alone all the time.

Garcia blinked, but recovered quickly and grinned at me. "You know I can do it."

"Yea, let's not," Rossi said with a smirk on his face, "I'm not in the mood to have to arrest you, and I don't think that's what JJ wants either."

I shook my head, the smile still on my face. "Nope."

"Anything? I feel so bad about not being able to find your location in time..." She had effectively, and without knowing, brought me back to the present. The smile disappeared and my heart skipped a beat.

"No. I'm fine."


	10. Chapter 10

Garcia noticed right away that she had said something wrong but she kept quiet. Which, I knew, was Rossi's presence that caused that.

I looked at him, and saw his calming presence as something that I would need. Will didn't have that unfortunately. It was never easy, it seemed.

"Well anyway, Hotch sent us out here to offer our help," Rossi said to break the uncomfortable silence. "Will called him the other day, to ask us how we were doing on your case and how you ended up being targeted when you weren't on the list. Garcia here came with the idea to check your phone."

"Why?" I asked, glancing from Rossi to Garcia and back.

"There is something, somewhere. We just have to find it." Garcia nodded while staring at Henry and when I looked down and saw him peacefully sleeping still, I sighed.

"Take it then...Will left it on the stand," I gestured to my phone and Garcia quickly moved to get it. I flinched involuntarily and she gasped, stepping back. "Take it, Pen."

"But—"

"Yea, but what? It going to happen, you know? It's not something I can control. Take it," I hissed as she stared at me. I knew I was being rude and I knew that she was my friend but somehow, someway she got on my nerves with her nervous demeanor.

She stepped forward slowly this time and grabbed my phone. When she stepped back, she glanced at Henry again and her eyes softened at the sight of him. "Did Will tell you about how he stayed awake all night even though we'd told him that you were working?"

"No." I looked down at Henry and wondered what else Will hadn't told me.

"He said that no matter what you did you always called, and when you didn't call he waited up that first night until he fell asleep, exhausted. He did that until you came back but even now, he waits for your call."

I hadn't realized how much impact it had on Henry that I wasn't home and that I didn't call. Children were resilient, and they could handle a lot. I just hadn't thought that the phone call I made while I was away, was the one thing that he couldn't understand not happening.

"He's fine now though. He looks peaceful again," Rossi said, glaring at Garcia. I shook my head.

"If this is the only time he's really slept in a week..."

"It's not Jayje, he slept. Mostly during the day, when he came home from school. This is just his way of catching up and now that you're here, he's even more at peace." Rossi stood to his feet. "And I think it's time for us to leave. We said enough."

"But—" Garcia glanced at me and back at Rossi. "I thought—"

"I think JJ just wants to spend some time with Henry, maybe this'll help her get some sleep." Rossi gently pushed Garcia toward the door before turning and winking at me. "I'll be here tomorrow, when you get released. Hotch ordered one of us to be there for you and Will."

"Thank you. Both of you for visiting." I watched as they left and then looked down at my son. He was peaceful indeed, and even though guilt settled over me like a suffocating blanket, I did my best to focus on the good.

My head was fuzzy and my mind shut down after a moment of watching Henry and I knew sleep was close. I didn't want to wake him and I didn't want to fall asleep either, knowing the nightmares were waiting in the shadows of my mind.

When I woke up, I flinched when I saw Will sitting in the corner of the room, his body bent over the papers on his lap and exhaustion evident in his demeanor. Henry moaned and then stretched out, having woken up from the movement and he looked up at me with his bright smile.

"You're still here," he said sleepily, and then buried his head into my side again. His breathing evened out right away and he was asleep again while Will looked up, surprised to hear something from the two sleeping people on the bed. I just watched him as he watched us.

"I got here an hour ago...I didn't want to wake you." He waited for a second before bending over his paperwork again, while I stared at him.

"I was told that Henry hadn't been sleeping," I said after a moment, my brain finally having decided that I couldn't let it slide.

Will looked up and nodded. "He slept but he couldn't fall asleep. He wanted to wait for your call. Don't worry about it chère, he's okay now."

"He's exhausted, he wouldn't have fallen asleep here if he was okay, Will," I kept my voice level and soft because I didn't want to wake Henry yet. As long as Will could stay here, I would keep Henry close to me so that he could get back on his feet. The nurses hadn't come in yet to tell them to leave. Visiting hours had ended a while back and I knew I'd been asleep for a while, but since I'd been back I slept very lightly.

"Would you rather I tell you everything that happened? Even though you're dealing with enough right now? I mean, look at you...you've been here for three days and you look exhausted. You've been hurt and I don't want to burden you with things like that."

"With things like what? My son? He's never going to be a burden Will." I swallowed as I realized that he was right even though the way he said it was wrong. I didn't sleep, because I had nightmares. And I had been weak, needing help to stay on my feet all through a shower.

Never had I realized that having been stuck for three days without sustenance would be so powerful as to weaken me and even though I hated the fact that I was still here, I knew that I needed it.

"I know that chère. That wasn't what I meant. JJ, I will tell you what you want to know, I won't keep anything from you but not if I know that it's not going to hurt you. That's all I can promise you right now."


	11. Chapter 11

**Yep, I'm closing this story off in the next chapter. **

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><p>"Normally we don't discharge on a Saturday, but your boss was very persistent. He even told us to make sure you ate enough, drank enough...even when you were to go home. It's why the doctor had our specialist make up a diet for you."<p>

I almost laughed when the nurse handed me the papers for my release from the hospital. Hotch had certainly gone out of his way to make sure I was alright.

But instead of laughing I smiled. "Thank you." And when the nurse left the room in a hurry, I looked down at the papers in my hand and sighed. I was going home, I was supposed to be happy about it but I didn't know if I was. It meant spending time with Will and talking to him about random things because we had been skirting around the issue of my capture.

That was mostly my doing though.

Rossi had arrived before Will had but he'd been quiet while I walked around getting ready to leave. It was only when I was done that he cleared his throat.

"You should realize that this is hard on him too," he said without preamble. I knew what he meant though and I stared at him, my eyes heavy with sleep still.

"I know. I realize that and I try, okay? It's just that he keeps things from me because he thinks I'm weak."

"In a way you are. You were weakened even if it was only three days. You got hit over the head and have a concussion and he's right when he says that he is worried about what that might mean...we all are. You know that Reid has been trying to figure out if he could come visit while you were here or if he should wait until you're back on your feet?"

"I didn't. Rossi, I get it okay? I get that this is hard on everyone. I mean, no one other than you and Henry know how to act around me. That's what's got me on edge." I pushed the tears back with the heels of my hands and sighed. "I don't know how to be the person I was."

"Until you do it's going to be a little weird, but who cares? You lived when he died, when they died. You survived. You need to get that into your head because if you don't you're not going to be a survivor. And as for us...we need to stop being awkward around you and accept the fact that you've been through hell and came back. You will be stronger for it once you learn how to deal with it and we're all going to be here to help you." He chuckled when I kept staring. "No matter how awkward it's going to be."

"So since you know so much about this, how long is it going to take for me to get back on my feet and for everyone around me to accept that it happened?" I asked, my hands shaking against my face. I was fighting against everything and maybe I needed to listen to Rossi and just accept what happened and try and move on from it.

"Eh, it could take a while."

That's what I'd expected but I had hoped that he would tell me it would all be over soon. Sometimes the truth hurt and this was one of those times. Rossi was the only one to be honest with me about things though, so I accepted it and simply nodded.

"At least you're honest." I stood and zipped up my bag full of clothes. "I'll just accept it then."

Rossi grinned and I realized I acted like it was easy, but we both knew it wasn't as easy as it seemed.

"Anyway, Garcia managed to get nothing off of your phone so she'll be dropping it off later today. And as it is we're no closer to why you were taken so you're going to have to wait a while for that." He stood and sat down next to me on the bed. "My theory is that when you moved into that house, you replaced an agent of some sorts and he thought it was okay to take you instead of them. But that's just a theory."

We had just moved into that house a week before I'd been taken. It might have been that I was in the wrong place at the wrong time, or maybe he didn't even know about the change in house owners.

"Either way, it results in the same thing. I was taken, and now I have to learn how to deal with that."

"True. It might not even be necessary for you to know why you were taken, we know that you weren't on the list and we know that it might be that you having moved is just..."

"I was in the wrong place at the wrong time," I said as he faded out. He nodded and then sighed. "It doesn't really matter, but I'd like to know. Even just know a couple of theories you guys have, might help me figure it out."

"You'll know, as long as you want to know I'll come and tell you what we find."

We were silent for a moment and in that moment, Will walked in. When I glanced at the door to see if Henry was with him, he smiled and shook his head.

"Henry is home with Garcia. She said she had something to give you, and told me to just go and get you," he explained. Rossi stood to his feet.

"That means that I can go. With Garcia there I'm sure you're going to be just fine. And don't forget what we talked about, okay? We're all just here to help you."

"Thank you Dave," I said and he bowed his head before disappearing. Will looked at me and smiled again.

"You ready?" He held out his hand and even though the flutter in my stomach was making me feel sick, I took his hand and stood to my feet with his help. My skin crawled and the palm of my hand itched, but I forced a smile on my face and waited until he had lifted the bag onto his shoulder. "Let's go home."


	12. Chapter 12

**This is the last chapter of this story. I hope it's okay. It might be a little rushed but I needed to stop this before it got too long winded...and this is actually kind of what I had in mind when I started writing this anyway. I hope you liked it. **

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><p>The ride home was silent, as I'd expected. Will and I didn't have much to tell each other because I didn't want to talk about what happened and he didn't want that either. He would rather keep things to himself than tell me what was bothering him.<p>

When we got home, Garcia and Henry greeted us happily. Henry smiled brightly at me, and when I sat down he climbed on the couch next to me and snuggled into my side. Will disappeared into our bedroom the moment we walked in.

"So I have your phone here," Garcia said. She kept herself calm, quiet even and I wished she would be herself. I missed the Garcia that was outspoken, happy and so positive and sweet that sometimes my teeth hurt when I spent too long in her presence.

"Hey Pen?" I watched as she nodded her head, staring at me intently as she waited for me to go on. "Be you okay? Don't hold back any of who you are just because you think I can't handle it or something."

"Oh, I'm not. You know I can't even do that," she said with a smile. "It's just that I don't know what to say."

"That makes two of us." I sighed and she moved closer, slowly so that I could get used to her proximity. When she lifted her arm and put it around my shoulder, I had to blink fast to keep the tears from rolling down my cheeks as she gently pulled me against her side.

"I can tell you some lie about how it's going to be okay and how everything will be back to normal in a little while...but that's not what you need. What I'll tell you is that I'll be here to help you whenever you need it, and I'll do my best to not freak you out."

I smiled as the first tear slipped down my cheek anyway, and Garcia rubbed my shoulder before she ran a hand through Henry's hair.

It was Garcia who gave me what I needed—comfort. She was the person, the first, to comfort me while I cried. Henry stayed silent, knowing that I was crying but choosing to stare at the TV and ignore it.

She just held me, without a word and I let her because even if I kept telling myself I was okay, I really wasn't. And she knew, because she knew me. There were no words needed in the situation, and even Henry seemed to know that.

"I-oh," Will walked into the room and I looked up, my vision blurry from the tears and I smiled weakly at him.

"You want to join in on this group hug?" I asked, my voice scratchy. He swallowed hard and then nodded, tears in his eyes as he moved closer. He sat down next to Henry, who looked up from the screen for the first time. "Baby, why don't you sit down on my lap for a while?" I asked him, and he grinned at me before climbing onto my lap and snuggling in, his face buried in my neck. Will sat down next to me and smiled at me, but I could see that he was nervous.

"Are you sure?"

I nodded. "Absolutely." Even though my stomach fluttered and my hands started sweating, I was sure that I wanted him to sit next to me, to touch me like only he could. He had always had a calming effect on me and even though he hadn't in the past couple of days, I knew that could come back. It had to come back.

He carefully leaned against me, though he didn't lean with his whole weight, but he made sure I knew he was there. He held out his hand and because the only thing I could do was offer my casted wrist, I did. Will didn't seem to mind though as he slowly moved his thumb over my fingers. A shiver went down my spine but it felt good, and I sighed.

"You know what. I think I should go. Your phone is right there," Garcia slowly extracted herself from us and stood, pointing at my phone what lay on the table. "I'll come over tomorrow, or something. Just...call me when you need me."

"You don't have to go," I said, but she grinned and nodded toward us without a word. "Right."

"I'll let myself out, don't get up," Garcia held up her hand when Will made a move to get up and he sat back down again.

"Bye auntie Pen," Henry said, sounding sleepy. I looked down at him and noticed that he had closed his eyes. Garcia left without another word and the three of us were home alone. No matter how much I had loved spending time with Will and Henry like this before, I felt like I had to start all over again.

"Do you want some dinner? Or maybe you just want something to drink?" Will muttered and I shrugged. I wasn't in the mood for anything other than cuddling with my son and knowing that my husband was close.

"I'm good for now," I said softly. I stared at the TV screen, not seeing anything that was happening on it. "Will...it's going to be hard, at least in the next couple of weeks...months. But I'll do my best to tell you everything okay?"

"You don—"

"But I do. I can't shut you out...not right now. Will, things have changed but I still love you."

"I love you too chère, so much."

We kept quiet after that, until Henry moved and smiled up at me.

"I love you too mommy," he turned a little further, "and I love you too daddy."

We had been talking about some special things before I got kidnapped, and I hoped that we could keep that going after I'd gotten back on my feet. It might be a little harder than we wanted it to be but I knew that we could find a way.

Love was all we needed...right?


End file.
